One evening before Christmas, on my husband’s birthday and the anniversary of my Father’s diagnosis, we all sat down to have dinner before my mother went to see my brother in Perth, Australia. We had all spent the past five months grieving the death of my Father and my Grandfather, who died within days of each other. My Mum had found this book that looked so old the pages were turning a yellowy brown hue, it had a letter with it, it was a letter my mother had written my father stating that if she had An hour to live, An hour to love, this is what she would say. We all sat around the table and took turns reading the book whilst sobbing, then we read the letter, feeling a little moment of relief that Mum had taken the time to tell Dad what she would say to him if she knew she only had one hour left with him.
I learnt a lot that evening from that exercise which was melancholically cathartic and almost magical in the shared love and emotions. I learnt the importance of giving and showing love in everything we do, in every moment we can, with every fibre of our being. I am an avid believer in the law of attraction and if you asked me my way of life I would say to be love in every essence of the word. With everything we encounter in life it is not always easy to have our love hats on, that is why heightened awareness is ever so crucial. Like a marriage and a relationship, to hone the skill is to nurture it daily, water it like our beautiful Christmas Poinsettia in the living room.
This reading and this display of love and affection between my mother and father was the catalyst for my continued quest to be love, to show more love and to truly understand the meaning of love. Often my husband has spoken of how he does not believe in anger in a relationship, and as much as I would love to believe this too, I had doubts at the time that how can two people be under one roof and not get angry at each other at some point. His love alone has shown me the importance of acceptance, forgiveness and the significance of the relationships we have with the people we love. I believe that with a lot of effort in communication and the law of attraction, love can actually envelop us in every area of our lives until its presence feels like a magical force. After all, that is what love is, energy, a magical, mystical, scientific force of nature that we can all harness. I don’t mean it in some wishy-washy sense, I just mean that love really is the secret of life, and with a little practice, it can follow us even in the darkest of times.
What losing my Father, this letter and this book taught me, is that our live’s are so precious, that in the blink of an eye, everything can change and that we are not immune to hardship. You talk of these things happening to others, they never happen to my family, but that is just not true, we are not immune. When my father passed away, I grieved hard; I felt every feeling there was to feel. I thought my heart would explode and my lungs would give way from the pain and grief of losing the only man who had ever stuck by me my whole life from start to finish, the one man who stuck up for me at every chance, who made me feel I could conquer the world. The one man, who, despite all my efforts to rebel against life, was there around every corner to pick up all the broken pieces. The sacrifices that man made for me are just insurmountable. I literally owe him my life. If only he had one more hour to live and I had one more hour to love!